It's All Basically the Same

The more I learn about the Bible, the more I get scared. I wish that we could just have a formula that we could say acting a certain and doing certain things despite will bring us somewhere. In Leviticus, there is a long section that describes in detail the sacrificial system. This is the very sacrificial system that Christ is the fulfillment of, which I hear is one of the reasons the Old Testament is kept around. When the people came to make a sacrifice, the text states that it is not enough just for them to do the action, but that the internal conversion and heart must show. This internal dedication and will is also behind the principle of circumcision. Actions are never enough. No matter what you can do, it will not be enough. We can jump around and get all peppery at church, but it won’t matter if heart is blind. You can study theology and ancient languages, but none of it will matter unless your heart is willing to be taught. So many times we put focus on the actions rather than what is behind the actions, perhaps because behind the actions is something that is not real. I don’t sing in chapel a lot of times. Chapel is in the period of the day where I am just realizing that I woke up, and my sinuses along with the cat that crawled into my throat during the night tell me not belt out a praise; so I don’t. We must understand that what is on the inside is what counts. Sometimes we think that we can know a lot about a person because of what they do on the outside. Sometimes we think the outside is what is also inside of that person, and that they must have no logical reason to act the way they do. I think the system we use on each other is kaput to put it nicely. I think that we have got it all wrong. When did worship and church become something we monitor people by? When did they become something we monitor ourselves by? The more I read in the Bible, the more I think that the way we do things is tiresome and useless as Christians; and I get scared. It scares me to think that I can’t have a God who complies with me, who fits into my schedule. It scares me that I can’t be safe, that I can’t be comfortable in my self; I don’t like it. I have no problem with what Christianity has done to God, which appeals right to the selfishness in me. I can go to Lakewood and hear Joel Olsteen sell me the belief that I am OK, that what I do is alright because of Jesus and I therefore do not need to change; as long as I can jump when I sing. I can sit in my pew and feel good about myself. I once heard it said that Christianity will go away because it is no longer a religion people can die for, that people can give their lives to, to take to the grave with them. I know some people that can and would take Christianity to the grave, but on the whole I believe that statement is mostly true. I don’t care about a God who compromises. I don’t care about a God who lets me look the same as everyone else and tells me that is alright. I don’t care about a God who lets me put him into a set values of boxes, and lets me ignore the things he commanded for my own comfort. I’m glad God is not like any of these things, but like I said, it scares me. If I really did the things I am supposed to, that I am told to, that I am shown, I would be giving up very much; very much that I want to keep. Our God is a God who demands an answer to what He is about, you’re either in or you’re out. There is no “yes, but with benefits” there is no “I’ll do that but not this”. The more I read about it, the more I hate it because of myself, but the more I see the beauty in God and the truth of His word and character; not the character that people in this world have made him out to be. Not the people who think they are full when they are empty, when they say they have something but do not. There are churches and people out there who I believe do things right and I do not mean to include them here, but for the most part…it’s just about feeling good, just like drugs, alcohol, and casual sex are. There really is not much difference between the two sides. Both let you believe you have something when you do not, and both end up leaving you empty and deceived in the end.

Don’t fear! Another, much happier installment will come!