It's All Basically the Same


Skiing Cooler Than Snowboarding

Below is a list from ESPN on the reason's skiing is cooler than boarding. I also think skiing is a lot less trendy and has more options than boarding. However, in America, we just love to be different than everyone else by being the same, thus many people snowboard. I feel bad for snowboarders, I think a lot of them just do it because their friends do or they think Tony Hawk would. If you're a boarder, the next time you fuss with your bindings before getting off the lift or sit on your ass like a homeless bum while waiting for a jump, you might think of what you miss out on, and you'll have my sympathies.

1. Skiing is Original:
Scandinavian artifacts indicate that people skied as early as 5000 B.C. Since then, skier inventions such as the metal edge, the polyurethane base and the chairlift have revolutionized snow-riding sports. Meanwhile, snowboarders, riding strong since the 1960s, revolutionized the anti-social resort experience by inventing the iPod pocket and the ridiculously gigantic headphone.

2. Skiers Go Faster:
Skiers leave snowboarders in the dust. No disrespect; it's just, like, physics. Skis offer riders a longer running surface, the stability of independent feet and a forward-facing stance conducive to a sleek, aerodynamic tuck position. Consequently, skis are the ticket to the biggest thrills, loftiest boosts, and blazingest speeds you can get without a motor.

3. Skiers Fly Higher:
In the spring of 2008, Simon Dumont (left) boosted a 35-foot cork 900, eclipsing the previous world quarterpipe height record of 32 feet, set by snowboarder Terje Haakonsen in 2007. Scandinavian skiers like Jacob Wester have repeatedly pushed the limits for height on similar features. For today's best freestyle skiers, a 15-foot halfpipe air is standard. Scared of heights? Strap on a snowboard.

4. Skiing Moguls is Fun
Moguls. They're fun: You'd have to have a heart of stone to not crack a smile while bobbing your head and wiggling your hips that much. They're fast: I mean, if you're going through them on skis. They're culturally relevant: The first Olympic mogul competition happened in 1988, the same year Sonny Bono (also a skier, R.I.P.) was elected mayor of Palm Springs. You could ride them on a snowboard, but it wouldn't be the same.

5. Skiing is Efficient:
To see how many fewer hassles skiing involves, one need look no further than the top of the chairlift. Whereas skis whisk you down the piste with ease and efficiency, snowboarding is a constant struggle of strapping, unstrapping, sitting, standing, and checking to see that your pants are properly sagged.

6. The Elite Ski:
Skiing is expensive and ski terrain is sometimes quite difficult to access. This makes it a perfect pastime for the wealthy, powerful, and famous. Arnold Schwarzenegger, the world's most powerful (physically) political leader, loves to ski. So do a host of other aristocrats including Prince Charles and Paris Hilton. Perhaps the only sport more elite is polo. But come on. Polo? (Ok this one is dumb, but it might win the d-bags over from boarding, and d-bags are people too...sometimes. God knows there is a lot of 'em that board.)

7. Skiing is Exclusive:
Sometimes you want to go where everybody shreds the same. Snowboarders, unfortunately, are stuck with skiers in all places inbounds. Skiers, on the other hand, can still resort to homogeneity in three superlative places: Mad River Glen, the most challenging mountain on the East Coast; Alta, the second snowiest resort in North America; or Deer Valley, home of the world's most expensive lunch.

8. Skiing has Better Movies:
Hollywood liked skiing in the '80s and '90s and produced a wealth of successful, stirring, ski-related films. Today's skiers get to relive Lane Meyer's hard-fought descent of the K-12 in Better Off Dead ($11 M gross earnings), TJ Burke's bittersweet Powder 8 victory in Aspen Extreme ($8 M), and all of Harkin Banks's conquests in and out of the gondola in Hot Dog ($17 M). Snowboarders are stuck with whatever happened in Out Cold — assuming anybody saw it.

9. Skiing is in the Name:
Even if you snowboard, you're snowboarding at a ski resort. Afterward, you might do a ski-shot, or some other aprés-ski activity in a ski town, but none of it will go down in a snowboard town since there's no such thing as a snowboard town. Mammoth might be the closest thing, but based on its location, it's more like a remote snowboard research colony or snowboard space station than a snowboard town.

10. Skiing Isn't Cool, and Thus is Cooler
With its cool clothes, big stars and striking resemblance to skateboarding, snowboarding has almost fully replaced skiing as the preferred way for winter-minded teenagers to fit in. Being unique, however, often results in increased coolness. Therefore, by not being as cool as snowboarding, skiing is actually way cooler.

2 Responses to “Skiing Cooler Than Snowboarding”

  1. # Blogger Young Ted Danson

    LOL! I'm a snowboarder and I think this is pretty funny (and not in a sarcastic way ...). Although I think you need to re-evaluate this sentence: "Snowboarders, unfortunately, are stuck with skiers in all places inbounds."

    I can assure you that snowboarders definitely go out of bounds. I always hike to untracked terrain, and I have been known to lead friends out of bounds.

    And one thing you left off this list is powder.
    Skiers may enjoy tweaking their knees and riding Moguls, but snowboarders take pride in tracking out back-country POWDER!
    Come out to Lake Tahoe and ride some powder!

    Also, there is a website that is great for skiers and snowboarders alike: OnTheSnow.com.  

  2. # Blogger d.t.blaser

    Thanks! I also love the powder, and haven't done so with a snowboard, but I'd assume it gives the same "floating on air feeling."  

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